


They Were Kids That I Once Knew /// Dead Hearts

by ConsiderableLogicality



Series: ANGST [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Connor is dead, Cupcakes, Death Threats, Drug Use, Fluff, Swearing, siblings bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 10:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12479280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsiderableLogicality/pseuds/ConsiderableLogicality
Summary: Connor anxiously tugged at his father's sleeve."Papa, when's Mama gonna have the baby? I'm tired of waiting!"Larry rolled his eyes. "A little bit longer, son. We can't rush your mother."Connor pouted. "I bet I could've done it by now!"~~~AKA Connor and Zoe's relationship through the years.





	They Were Kids That I Once Knew /// Dead Hearts

Connor anxiously tugged at his father's sleeve.

"Papa, when's Mama gonna have the baby? I'm tired of waiting!"

Larry rolled his eyes. "A little bit longer, son. We can't rush your mother."

Connor pouted. "I bet I could've done it by now!"

Larry chuckled. "Oh, really?"

Connor nodded, his long hair falling over his eyes.

"Son, we've got to get that cut."

"But I like it long!"

"Well, you-"

"Cynthia Murphy?" A nurse called. Larry and Connor stood up, following.

"Cynthia!" Larry called, embracing his wife. "How was it?"

"Hell."

"I offered to wait with you."

"Not a chance. You'd be more of a mess than me."

"That's not-"

"She's so little..." Connor said quietly.

Larry and Cynthia turned to Connor, who was waiting in the doorway, hesitant.

Cynthia smiled. "C'mere, baby. Say hello."

Connor slowly walked to his mother. "What's her name?"

"Zoe."

Connor nodded to himself, as though he was giving his approval. He stared at Zoe in wonder.

Cynthia broke the silence with a small laugh. "Wanna hold her?"

Connor's eyes widened, shaking his head. "I'll break her!"

"No, baby, just come over and-"

"Cynthia, he said he doesn't-"

"Larry, let him try." She turned back to her son. "Come on."

Connor grimaced, but complied.

"Now, put your arms out. Good. Okay, look, put one hand there, right, you've got it. And the other behind her head, oh, a little higher, little bit... Perfect! See?"

Connor bit his lip, looking down. "So. You're my sister, huh? I hope you don't plan on sharing a room with me."

Zoe stuck her tongue out.

"Good, we agree." He thought a moment. "But we can still have sleepovers and stuff! I can teach you a bunch, and we can go on adventures!"

Zoe stared blankly.

"U-unless you don't want to! Sorry, I'm not used to being a brother!"

Zoe reached a hand out, grabbing a tiny fistful of her brother's hair. She giggled.

Connor beamed. "You like my long hair too, huh?"

Larry scowled, but Cynthia chuckled.

Connor looked up at his parents. "I like her!" He declared.

~~~

"Con!" Zoe whispered, opening her brother's door. "Connor!"

Connor rolled over in bed. "Whaaat?" He groaned. "It's the middle of the niiight..."

"YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS, LARRY!"

Connor sat up, listening.

" MAYBE BECAUSE HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS!" 

"Mama and Papa are fighting!" Zoe sniffed.

Connor blanched. "Don't cry, Zo! C'mere!"

Zoe climbed onto the bed.

"NO MAN WEARS THEIR HAIR LONG LIKE THAT! I NEVER WOULD'VE! AND PAINTING HIS NAILS? WE'RE LETTING HIM ACT LIKE OUR DAUGHTER INSTEAD OF OUR SON!"

"I DON'T SEE WHY IT MATTERS!"

"They're fighting about me." Connor realized.

"What?" Zoe asked.

"N-nothing..." Connor blinked. "Just... Get some sleep..."

Zoe shook her head, pigtails whipping back and forth. "I can't!"

Connor sighed. "We'll have a sleepover, okay Zo?"

"...Okay."

~~~

They were perched on the staircase, the dining room mere inches away.

"Alright." Connor whispered. "Agent Pumpernickel, are you ready?"

Zoe nodded. "I was born ready, Agent Grasshopper."

"Very well then. Godspeed, Pumpernickel. Godspeed."

Zoe saluted, before running into the dining room.

Larry and Cynthia's heads turned, as well as the three guests, potential clients of Larry's.

"Mama! Look! I can name all 50 states! There's Florida, New York, Texas, California-"

"That's very cool, baby, but maybe you can show me later?" Cynthia asked.

"Almost done!" Zoe exclaimed. "Virginia, Kentucky, Alaska-"

Meanwhile, Connor snuck in, moving towards the table set up in the back. His eyes caught a plate of cupcakes.

"Jackpot!" He whispered, grabbing cupcakes and piling them into the fold of his shirt.

"There's North Carolina, South Carolina, uuuummmmm..." Zoe winced. "Uuuuuhhhhhh... Oh! Pennsylvania!"

Cynthia sighed. "Sweet pea, that's really-"

"Philadelphia, Georgia-"

"Zoe." Larry said.

Sensing the urgency, Connor began speeding up, taking cupcakes faster and faster until- CRASH! All heads turned to see Connor, in front of a flipped over table and covered in desserts.

Zoe ran over to her brother, chuckling nervously. "Well, I think I named most of the states, sooo, we're gonna go now! Bye!"

"Not so fast, you two."

Connor whipped his head around. "Run, Zo!" He shouted. "Save yourself!"

~~~

Cynthia threw down the piece of paper. "I give up! Oragami is impossible!"

Zoe turned to Connor, frowning. "You know what that means?"

Connor sighed. "Time for Mom to get into another freaking craze."

"Yep."

It happened about a week later.

"Family bands!"

Larry blinked. "What?"

Cynthia squealed. "Oh, you have to have seen it on TV!"

Connor and Zoe exchanged a look.

"Larry, you'll play the bass, Connor: drums, Zoe, you're on guitar, and I'll sing!"

Larry groaned. "Cynthia, none of us play instruments!"

"Well, now we can all learn!"

And learn they did. Of course, about 8 months later, Cynthia decided the music industry was too 'unrealistic'.

Zoe, however, found herself joining the school band.

~~~

Connor threw a pillow across his room, growling angrily. Some P!ATD song was blaring in his headphones as he scowled. There was a knock at the door.

"Go AWAY, Dad!" Connor shouted.

"It's Zoe!"

Connor huffed, unlocking the door. "Close it behind you."

Zoe did. "Mom told you not to lock the door. What's got you all grouchy anyway?"

"DAD-" He spat the word. "-Wants to cut my hair."

"...And?"

"AND, I don't!"

Zoe frowned. "Why are you two always at each other's throats? It's just hair."

Connor crossed his arms. "Tell that to HIM!"

"Why does Dad even want it cut?"

"Because it's not 'manly'."

"And why don't you?"

"Because, it's MY hair, I should be able to do what I want with it! He's being stupid, just because I'm not the perfect son he imagined!"

Zoe put her hands up in surrender. "I dunno what to tell you, Con."

Connor groaned, flopping onto his bed. "I hate him."

Zoe's brows furrowed. "You don't mean that."

"Yeah, I do."

Zoe flopped down next to him. "Do you hate Mom?"

"...Nah, I guess not."

"Do you hate me?"

"Never."

"Really?"

"Course. I could never hate you, Zo."

Zoe turned. "Promise?"

"Promise." Connor grinned. "Hey, why did the chicken cross the road?"

~~~

Connor marched out of the salon, now sporting short hair.

"Son, get back here."

"What, LARRY?"

"Don't call me that."

Connor turned. "Why not?"

Larry huffed. "It's disrespectful."

"Well, maybe I don't care!"

"Stop being dramatic. You looked idiotic anyway."

"FUCK YOU, LARRY!" Connor shouted, storming off.

Larry clenched his fists. "Connor, get in the car. Now."

After that, Larry never called Connor son, and Connor never called Larry dad.

~~~

Connor walked in, around midnight.

"Where have you been? We were worried sick!" Cynthia gasped.

"What's that smell?" Larry paused, sniffing. "Are you HIGH?" 

"Why do you care?"

"Baby, you shouldn't-"

"Give me your phone and go to your fucking room."

"Connie, why were you-"

"NOW."

~~~

Connor was pounding on the door.

"ZOE, I FUCKING SWEAR IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!"

"G-go away, Connor!"

"I KNOW IT WAS YOU! YOU RATTED ME OUT TO CYNTHIA AND LARRY! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Mom, please come home, Connor's-"

"YOU BITCH!"

~~~

Zoe stood in the alleyway, two men cornering her.

"Get away from me." She growled.

"Come on, Princess." One guy purred, reeking of alcohol. "We just wanna talk."

"Well, I don't. Go away!"

"Now now, little lady. Let's not be too-"

"What the hell are you doing?! Get away from her!"

Zoe turned to see Connor, high off his ass and pissed.

"Get away from my sister, you bastards!"

The two men stalked off.

Zoe held her breath. "Connor-"

"What the fuck are you doing here?! Don't you know the kind of people that hang here?! What the hell, Zoe?!"

"I was looking for you, asshole!"

"Why?!"

"You weren't answering my texts!"

"So?! I didn't want to talk to you!

"Well, exCUSE me for being fucking worried!"

Connor scoffed. "Do Mommy and Daddy know you're near me? We wouldn't want you in harms way!"

Zoe flushed. "You were the one that threatened me, dickhead!"

"Then why are you here?!"

"I don't know!" Zoe screeched. "But don't worry! I won't come after you again!"

~~~

Connor hoisted a 5-year-old Zoe up. "Flight 301: prepare for take-off!" 

Zoe squealed. "3! 2! 1! Blast off!"

Connor zoomed her across the house, making sound effects when needed.

"WHEEEEE!"

~~~

Zoe stood in front of the grave.

"Miss me, Agent Grasshopper?" She sat down.

"You never told me about Evan Hansen.  
Though, to be fair, you never told me anything for the past few years. Everyone's so sad to see you go.  
Well, almost everyone.  
I'm not.  
You made my life hell, Connor.  
You know that?  
I bet you did.  
Or maybe you never even cared enough to noticed.  
I want to say I hate you.  
I want to scream and throw things.  
But I also want to forgive you.  
Most of all, I want to understand why."

Zoe sighed.

"But we're a million worlds apart...  
...And... I don't even know how I would start..."

Zoe stroked the grave, almost lovingly, before tears welled in her eyes. She punched the stone as hard as she could. Her hand stung, but she didn't care. 

Zoe turned away.

"Goodbye, Connor."


End file.
